Self-Titled

James Koman recently wrote an opinion article in the Mustang Daily, the student newspaper of Cal Poly, entitled Why I hate white people. The article contains very racist and ignorant thoughts about white people, in case you couldn’t tell from the title. The newspaper was flooded with protesting letters to the editor in the following days. I just read the article and found the last sentence amusing, which is ironic since the rest of the article wasn’t:

… White folks always try to rationalize their racial status by stating “I’m half-Italian, half-Norwegian,” or “I’m British,” or “I’m albino,” but they’re just trying to avoid the dreaded truth: they are white people. Not me though, I’m Irish-Polish-Czech. I hope this column forces you and your people to look inward and realize that your egotistic nature, fast-food diet and overall smaller brain size are a drain on this great nation and the dreams of our white Founding Fathers. Thank you for your time.

James Koman is a biology junior and a Mustang Daily humor columnist.

I don’t know how that guy can show his face on campus again.

Honestly, I think I enjoy the titles of The Onion articles more than the actual articles. For example:

• Actress’ Abortion Written Into TV Show
• High School Student Council Passes Nonbinding Resolution
• Kindergartner Being Groomed For Line-Leader Position
• Unreleased Jimmy Page Guitar Riff To Be Retrieved From Secret Vault To Save Rock And Roll
• Anchor Ad-Libs News With 97 Percent Accuracy

The average height of Dutch men and women has increased so dramatically in the past century that being too tall for a standard-height ceiling or a standard-length bed has become a common problem. So problematic, in fact, that there is a tall person organization that lobbies on behalf of tall people for more head room:

The Netherlands, as any European can tell you, has become a land of giants. In a century’s time, the Dutch have gone from being among the smallest people in Europe to the largest in the world. The men now average six feet one—seven inches taller than in van Gogh’s day—and the women five feet eight. The national organization of tall people, Klub Lange Mensen, has considerable lobbying power. From Rotterdam to Eindhoven, ceilings have had to be lifted, furniture redesigned, lintels raised to keep foreheads from smacking them. Many hotels now offer twenty-centimetre bed extensions, and ambulances on occasion must keep their back doors open, to allow for patients’ legs. “We will not go through the ceiling,” the pediatrician Hans van Wieringen assured me, after summarizing national height surveys that he had coördinated. “But it is possible that we will grow another ten centimetres.”

What I want to know is where is my college student lobbyist?

I’ve just found the funniest comic I’ve seen in a long time. My apologies if you don’t get this, it’s kinda nerdy. So sue me. Found here.